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一个气管炎哥们过30岁生日,估计心里憋屈喝大了

一个气管炎哥们过30岁生日,估计心里憋屈喝大了,猛地一拍桌子指着他老婆说:“从今天起,老子当家作主。”老婆当着大伙不好意思发作,就问:“你想做什么主呀?”没想到那哥们憋了半天说:“以后小便冲不冲我说了算。”

某天我火车上吃泡面,突然电话响了,开的免提(没手拿电话)。朋友问我:你银行的钱给我用下。我:要多少?朋友说:八十万。我说:密码*****!你自己去取!然后看到对面俩妹纸一直看我,下车了还追着向我要电话!我要不要告诉她们是游戏币啊?好纠结。

我老公是个医生,家里也有很多基础的设备。儿子就非常喜欢我老公的听诊器,老公也很开心,经常说:“等儿子再长大点,就教儿子学医,以后我继承我的职业”。这一天,看到儿子又在玩听诊器,旁边还放了辆小汽车,喃喃自语到:“欢迎来到加油站,请问要加多少油。”说完就把听头按在了玩具车上。

一天和老婆还有朋友出去吃火锅,火锅还没上来我和朋友先碰了一小杯白酒,老婆也跟着喝了,没过一会老婆说觉得头有点晕,要到门口透透气,我赶紧跟着出去,只见老婆红着眼睛委屈的说:我晕的不行,天旋地转。我还没吃呢还没吃呢…,我不想走不想走。。。。

老师在批改作文《我的老师》时,发现这么一段:“……老师,您就像辛勤的园丁,送走了一庙又一庙学生,现在又在送我们这一庙……”原来该生将“届”字错写成了“庙”。老师批注:等送走你们这一“庙”,我就不当园丁,改当方丈了。

昨天因为一件事骂儿子,说你妈妈是猪,你也是头猪。儿子却反过来说我:爸爸你怎么这么衰,娶了一头猪,还生了一只猪!你说你这熊孩子,这是不是找打。

孙俪三胎喜获龙凤胎 http://www.cityruyi.com/lm-4/lm-3/9573.html
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